Kadi Dutton, March 19, 2023
Spring into Action Weeks 1-4
Welcome to the first four weeks of our Spring into Action Relationship Challenge! This month is all about listening to one another and creating space for each other to open up. We hope you will walk out of this month with new discoveries about your partner and so many reasons to celebrate who they are! The exercises are loosely scheduled so that you can complete one exercise per week when it works for you!
We recommend completing the quick daily habits M-F and carving out some time on the weekend to complete the weekly exercise. We’re providing four amazing date night activities for you that all center around intentionally working to pursue and discover more about your partner as well as opening yourself up to be more fully discovered!
The first exercise is ready and available for you now, just keep reading!
Week 1 : Uninterrupted Listening
GOAL: To grow closer to each other and learn how to create a safe space to open up.
To Complete this Exercise...
Set aside an hour or so to be together in a distraction free environment. This could be a peaceful walk in the park, chatting outside on your back porch with a cup of coffee, or snuggling up together in bed when it’s just the two of you.
We recommend spending a few minutes warming up by connecting nonverbally, creating a safe and relaxed space where you both feel ready to listen and share. This could mean you hold each other in a 20 seconds or more embrace, perhaps you take ten deep timed breaths together, feel each other’s heartbeats, or spend your favorite song holding hands and looking deeply into each other’s eyes.
When you’re ready, set a timer for how long you feel comfortable (we suggest 3-15 minutes) where your partner will have the opportunity to share whatever they are feeling without any verbal response from you. They can talk about how their week was, their job, their feelings towards you, family or friends, things they are looking forward to or stressed about, really anything they want! As they are talking, it’s your job to simply listen. You won’t give any advice or verbal feedback, you’ll just soak up your partner’s words and work to understand and embody how they are thinking and feeling. It’s great to naturally respond nonverbally through your eyes and body language to interact and show support, to actively listen.
When the timer goes off, it’s now your turn to reset the timer and share as your partner listens without interruption. Try to think of this time as less of a response to your partner and more of your own time to share what’s in your head and on your heart. One of you might have more to say than the other and that’s perfectly fine.Oftentimes that partner that may be naturally quieter throughout their day might welcome this time to verbalize their thoughts slowly without being interrupted.
Once both of you have completed your time to share, we recommend first mutually reassuring each other of your love for each other and thanking them for being vulnerable. Then, if either of you feels a need to respond, it’s great to ask your partner if they were hoping for advice and solutions, emotional support, or another response from you. Follow up accordingly, asking questions if needed and allowing natural conversation to flow.
Happy listening and discovering! <3
Week 2 : What Would He Do?
GOAL: To learn more about what has shaped him and allow him to share parts of his life that he normally wouldn’t.
To Complete this Activity...
At the beginning of the week, ask your husband about some of his favorite hobbies he had or activities he regularly did before he was married that he would like to do again. Then plan a fun date centering around one of his favorite nostalgic activities so you can learn more about him and experience that part of his world.
While you are on your date, some great questions to ask your partner are:
- What are three things you love about this activity?
- How do you think this activity has shaped who you are today?
- Why did you stop this activity?
- Would you like to do this more often again?
Have fun while you experience this new part of his world, and be sure to compliment him or bring up something positive about the activity he is sharing with you. <3
Week 3 : What Would She Do?
GOAL: To learn more about what has shaped her and allow her to share parts of her life that she normally wouldn’t.
To Complete this Activity...
This week we are turning the tables! It's the man's turn to learn more about his lady and experience a piece of what has shaped her.
At the beginning of the week, ask your wife about some of her favorite hobbies she had or activities she regularly did before she was married that she would like to do again. Then plan a fun date centering around one of her favorite nostalgic activities so you can learn more about her and experience that part of her world.
While you are on your date, some great questions to ask your partner are:
- What are three things you love about this activity?
- How do you think this activity has shaped who you are today?
- Why did you stop this activity?
- Would you like to do this more often again?
- How does this activity compare to the one we did last week?
- How do you think the hobbies and passions we develop can bond us together?
Have fun while you experience this new part of her world, and be sure to compliment her or bring up something positive about the activity she is sharing with you. <3
Week 4 : Three Things
GOAL: To encourage each other and express things you might have been feeling for a while but haven’t brought up.
To Complete this Activity...
For this exercise, you will each take turns sharing three things you are grateful for about your partner as well as three things that you feel your relationship needs moving forward. Let this spark productive and encouraging conversation where you can hopefully grow and support each other. If big issues are brought up that surprise you, it might be best to take time to process what your partner has shared, reassure them you love them, and respond sensitively when the time is right.
Also take this time to check in and reflect on your growth as a couple these last few weeks. How has dating each other nostalgically helped you love and understand your spouse better? How has opening up and listening to one another shifted your connection and feelings towards your spouse this month? Have the daily habits been growing your affections for each other more? Which of the love language gestures have meant the most to you?
As we move into our second month of this challenge, take note of which activities and exercises really made a difference in your relationship. These can be repeated regularly whenever you both feel the desire to create space for each other to listen and discover one another more deeply. <3